Amongst the frenzy of varying information regarding the Krugersdorp Killers, since the case first started, there were many incorrect statements made about numerous things in the media… and there is one question, in particular, that I have been asked a few times, “Was I in a relationship with Cecilia Steyn?”
This is the only time I would consider myself brave: talking about my past. I’ve wavered around this topic for so long but it was time. I’m letting just a few walls down to finally talk…
This is the REAL me. This is who I am, why I am this way, why I do what I do and why I developed DID. I did not go into extensive detailed scenarios (I’m not ready yet) but I hope this will help people understand when I talk about things, and also help people realize the other reason why I became friends with Cecilia Steyn too.
I tried so hard not to cry through this recording…
Amidst talking about Cecilia Steyn and the rest of the Krugersdorp Killers, I often withheld saying certain things. This is a somewhat sensitive topic for me, mostly because of how it makes me furiously angry with people who falsely claim to have DID and exaggerate it, and then use it to get away with… well, in this case, murder.
DID saved my own life. It DOES NOT kill lives!
After so many messages and comments, since posting the podcasts, I started to see why people need/want to know more about who I am as a person, especially since I was connected to Cecilia Steyn and the rest of the Krugersdorp Killers.
Record. Pause. Heart Racing. Tears welling up. Lump in my throat. Record. Pause. Sobbing my eyes out. Delete… Try again…
Talking about all of these things regarding Cecilia Steyn is far harder for me than I let people realize.
There are no words for describing the utter confusion and war on thoughts there is, when it still comes to accepting the REALITY of who Cecilia Steyn truly is versus how she portrayed herself as a person and as “my best friend”. It’s almost like going from saint to satan. The complete contrast is too extreme to still fathom.
This is just something I thought I should say in response to the constant overwhelming and dumbfounding feedback I receive every day with regards to the Krugersdorp Killers. I am not strong. I am not brave. I am definitely not a hero.
This is something I have never told anyone about. Never once uttered even one word about it… simply, because it still baffles my mind.
In trying to describe or explain who I am as a person, even briefly, I thought might help people understand why I ended up being Cecilia Steyn’s best friend. And, also, to possibly help people understand why I did what I did, how it effected me back then and all these years later.