LET’S TALK

Shattered In The Moonlight

I don’t even know where to begin, except to say that I am utterly broken… and confused… so confused. I can’t hide behind a wall right now… I can’t distance myself from the emotions… this is very real. I am shattered beyond belief. For several months now, I had hung onto hope… I even DARED…

Details

Rock Bottom

A month and 1 day ago, my grandmother passed away. I will never forget the moment I found out. I cried so hard. I hit the walls saying, “It isn’t true!!!”… and cried more. The tears did not stop. One of 3 most loved, most teasured, most irreplaceable people in my life… was now gone.…

Details

Players. Why?

I’ve spoken about one of my frequent questions of dating in another piece, but another topic I WILL NEVER see eye to eye on is “players”. Simply, “Whyyyyyy?!” I have posed this question to several players before, only to receive answers that I could still not wrap my mind around to understand. The thrill of…

Details

Picking Up The Pieces

Admittedly, I am still very numb from the incredible knock and shattered hope I received just two days ago. I am both at war with pain and peace… broken dreams and hope… and things I don’t have words for. But now, now I have to force myself to get up, dust myself off and carry…

Details

Pandora’s Box

I know I had recently said that it feels like I have opened Pandora’s Box when I started the audio recordings for The Best Friend… but I am starting to realize, only now, how true this is. Everything is connected. Dot to dot, the mindmap leads to so much more than I realized. Too much……

Details

Overwhelmed By Life

Sitting here… a smoke in one hand, cigarette in the other, and music blasting in my ears. Definitely not my “every day norm”… Feeling overwhelmed by life… or is it my thoughts? I am not sure right now. I know I need a “time out” to think, yet I can’t clear my thoughts or make…

Details

Nightmares

“To sleep or not to sleep”… that is my question lately, and more so as each day passes. I am UTTERLY exhausted! But each time I close my eyes, I don’t drift off into dreamland… I get rudely sucked into a vortex of intensely graphic nightmares… all night long. Waking up on the hour, every…

Details

Never Be Ashamed Of A Scar

NEVER BE ASHAMED OF A SCAR. IT SIMPLY MEANS THAT YOU WERE STRONGER THAN WHAT TRIED TO HURT YOU. Yes, this is a photograph of my arm. I’m not oblivious to the looks I get when people see it. Akward stares; thoughts racing through their minds. At first, I felt so ashamed. I knew what…

Details

Near Year. Reboot

It’s finally 2021. New Year. Time for a reboot. 2020 brought many tremendous challenges for everyone. Most people are doubting and fearful of what 2021 will bring after what last year encompassed. For me, yes, 2020 had incredible challenges BUT it was actually and, in all honesty, the best year of my life so far.…

Details

My Phone Call From God

Wow. Let me start by saying that God hears EVERY word… EVEN when you don’t say anything at all… For the last several days, adding to the months prior, I have been bombarded with thoughts… confusion… questions… wondering… hoping… insights… and more. My mind has been flooded with TOO much… about TOO much. My mind…

Details

My Mutant Genes?!

One of the “hot” topics, in my life, is why I don’t apparently seem to age… a constant question that is asked… and some have even debated it, behind closed doors, for over 17 years. Yes, people, that I know, are stuck in discussions about my age! Now, before my teenage years, I had apparently…

Details

My Kids

I know people make jokes about this in general but, in the last few days, I realized that I REALLY do speak to my pets the exact same way as I do to people. Perhaps that’s why my pets respond differently to most other people’s pets? My pets are my kids after all. I have…

Details

My Battles With Sexuality

The topic of my sexuality is, most possibly, one of the biggest issues that “wage war” on the inside of my mind, on a fairly regular basis. Sexuality, as a whole, is a massively disputed and never-ending topic world-wide as well, despite the fact that diverse forms of sexuality is becoming more and more acceptable…

Details

Lullaby & Goodbye

I have to pause for a moment… I am busy listening to Lullaby, by Nickelback………………… This song has me completely choked up, with memories and emotions of my past flooding back into my mind. My breathing has become shallow, my chest has become tight and tears want to come rushing back… all because it is…

Details

Loyalty & Betrayal

Wow. Where do I begin and end on this topic? Let me try keep it short… or short enough, otherwise this is a book on it’s own. Well, for one thing, loyalty seems like something from science fiction or a movie nowadays. We all look for it, few give it and fewer find it. And…

Details

Loner. A Core Reason

To sum this up, 3 words: “people scare me”. In the last while, since my post Good At Being A Loner, I felt like I should give a more “rounded” answer to this topic because I don’t like giving “half answers”… especially when wrong assumptions are made and I seem to sound “somewhat” of “something”…

Details

Leviathan Walks. The Release

It’s now just past 1am and I am glad to finally say that Leviathan Walks is ready for its re-release! In editing the last 10 or so chapters, I must admit, I found myself constantly repeating to myself, “Wow, what a messed up life I’ve lived!!!” … “How on earth am I still alive???” ……

Details

Let’s Start

After releasing my first poetry book, and the following few after, I received A LOT of feedback from people locally and across the globe; all thanking me for sharing a piece of my heart and in return, they shared the struggles that they are dealing with too. It was no easy decision to release any…

Details

Let’s Be Vulnerable… From My Heart To Yours…

For seemingly endless months, if not years, this question has hounded my mind, “What is the purpose for my life?” … Basically, “Why on earth did I go through so much in my life? Why? What did I do wrong to deserve all of this… I was just a child… and growing up, all I…

Details