Since being involved in the Krugersdorp Killer’s case, I have received countless overwhelming responses from so many people across the globe. I have honestly lost count of how many messages I have received. Person after person sent incredibly supportive messages. They were overwhelming but these messages have helped spur me…
For seemingly endless months, if not years, this question has hounded my mind, “What is the purpose for my life?” … Basically, “Why on earth did I go through so much in my life? Why? What did I do wrong to deserve all of this… I was just a child……
A month and 1 day ago, my grandmother passed away. I will never forget the moment I found out. I cried so hard. I hit the walls saying, “It isn’t true!!!”… and cried more. The tears did not stop. One of 3 most loved, most teasured, most irreplaceable people in…
How do you describe a pain, when there are no words for it? How do you describe a loss, when your mind still wages war trying to make you believe it’s not true? How do you describe the most incredible grandmother that ever existed? You can’t, because the dictionary simply…
Record. Pause. Heart Racing. Tears welling up. Lump in my throat. Record. Pause. Sobbing my eyes out. Delete… Try again… Talking about all of these things regarding Cecilia Steyn is far harder for me than I let people realize. I could not put it into typed out words, but I…
NEVER BE ASHAMED OF A SCAR. IT SIMPLY MEANS THAT YOU WERE STRONGER THAN WHAT TRIED TO HURT YOU. Yes, this is a photograph of my arm. I’m not oblivious to the looks I get when people see it. Akward stares; thoughts racing through their minds. At first, I felt…
Admittedly, I am still very numb from the incredible knock and shattered hope I received just two days ago. I am both at war with pain and peace… broken dreams and hope… and things I don’t have words for. But now, now I have to force myself to get up,…
I don’t even know where to begin, except to say that I am utterly broken… and confused… so confused. I can’t hide behind a wall right now… I can’t distance myself from the emotions… this is very real. I am shattered beyond belief. For several months now, I had hung…
Last night I was broken beyond belief… beyond words… beyond any actions that could be done to fix it… helpless… lost… Last night I watched one of the strongest people I have ever known become completely and utterly broken. What I walked into, I don’t think anything could have ever…
I know I had recently said that it feels like I have opened Pandora’s Box when I started the audio recordings for The Best Friend… but I am starting to realize, only now, how true this is. Everything is connected. Dot to dot, the mindmap leads to so much more…
“To sleep or not to sleep”… that is my question lately, and more so as each day passes. I am UTTERLY exhausted! But each time I close my eyes, I don’t drift off into dreamland… I get rudely sucked into a vortex of intensely graphic nightmares… all night long. Waking…
I must admit that I did not expect to be where I am right now. I did not expect to come face-to-face, head on, with the memories and turmoil from my past regarding Cecilia Steyn and the rest of the Krugersdorp Killers. I never expected that I would eventually talk…
It’s now just past 1am and I am glad to finally say that Leviathan Walks is ready for its re-release! In editing the last 10 or so chapters, I must admit, I found myself constantly repeating to myself, “Wow, what a messed up life I’ve lived!!!” … “How on earth…
When I think about this part of my life, too many thoughts come rushing back all at once; so many thoughts that I honestly don’t even know where to begin when it comes to talking about it. I am yet to start writing my new book, The Best Friend… Why?…
I have to pause for a moment… I am busy listening to Lullaby, by Nickelback………………… This song has me completely choked up, with memories and emotions of my past flooding back into my mind. My breathing has become shallow, my chest has become tight and tears want to come rushing…
As the months of 2020 passed me by, I had spent hours on end during lockdown revisiting the past I had once lived, all in order to to edit and add more extensive details to my book Leviathan Walks, for its re-release. I cannot begin to count how many times…
I’ve spoken about one of my frequent questions of dating in another piece, but another topic I WILL NEVER see eye to eye on is “players”. Simply, “Whyyyyyy?!” I have posed this question to several players before, only to receive answers that I could still not wrap my mind around…
Wow. Where do I begin and end on this topic? Let me try keep it short… or short enough, otherwise this is a book on it’s own. Well, for one thing, loyalty seems like something from science fiction or a movie nowadays. We all look for it, few give it…