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Why I Ultimately Met Cecilia Steyn
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Before I had met Cecilia Steyn, I had constantly wrestled with this issue tremendously. I was honestly scared about meeting her, especially after everything Ria had told me. I was also told that anyone, who meets Cecilia, the occult then goes and makes their lives a living hell and eventually tries to kill them or, at the very least, does something utterly devastating enough that causes them to not want to be associated with Cecilia at all. My knowledge, up until that point in time, about anything occult related was very limited and I was also not sure I wanted to invite more disaster into my life.
To a degree, I was curious about meeting her. I mean, after all, there was this fascinating person who lived this extreme life. But the fascination was not nearly enough to make me want to meet Cecilia.
Cecilia sounded like she could be someone who I could relate to, at least to a degree. I had not gone through the things that Cecilia had claimed she went through in her life, but when it came to abusive scenarios and things revolving around that, I felt like Cecilia could possibly be someone, finally, that I could relate to. It could make me feel less alone.
But I carried on wrestling because Cecilia’s life was extreme, and I definitely did not want more devastation and drama thrown into my life. But I felt like I was judging her because of her past. How could you blame someone, or how could you judge someone, for something that was not their fault for what they were born into, and for how they were raised? How could you judge someone for what was done to them while they were just a child? They were merely victims… since day one. How could you blame someone for that? In blaming or judging Cecilia, it made me feel like I was condemning myself at the same time. It was not my fault for the things I was born into and for the things that I went through as a child.
I wrestled… terribly…. horribly… there was a lot that kept going around in my mind… a hurricane of confusing thoughts.
All my life, I had learnt to leave everything in God’s hands. I let Him decide. He knows what is best and He knows what is right or wrong, or what I should or should not do. I always wanted to do what was right in God’s eyes. So, with a scenario like this, where I was confused beyond comprehension, I was desperate for an answer. I did not know what to do. I needed an answer from God. In this moment of desperately needing an answer, I did not realize that it would also be a moment that would cause a dramatic turning pointing in my life.
After wrestling on this issue for about two weeks, I eventually recalled a scenario in the Old Testament of the Bible:
37… look, I (Gideon) shall put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor; if there is dew on the fleece only, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that You will save Israel by my hand, as You have said.”
38And it was so. When he rose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece together, he wrung the dew out of the fleece, a bowlful of water. 39Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me, but let me speak just once more: Let me test, I pray, just once more with the fleece; let it now be dry only on the fleece, but on all the ground let there be dew.”
40And God did so that night. It was dry on the fleece only, but there was dew on all the ground.
~ Judges 6:37-40 (NKJV)
Gideon asked God to give a very clear and precise answer in a very dramatic and physical way. So, in desperation, I took this Scripture literally…. very, literally. This is something I had never attempted before but I needed a very direct and very clear answer because something on the inside of me knew that this was a critical decision that needed to be made.
At that time point, I lived in a very large estate where there were numerous ponds, most of which were very secluded. I had often gone to sit by one particular pond because no one else would ever go there. I liked to sit in silence and to be left alone. This pond was completely isolated because it was the furthest one from the houses and the recreational areas. This pond was as isolated… as isolated could get. I honestly do not think anyone was even aware that this pond even existed. It was just too hidden away.
I sat down between the reeds and bushes that were next to it. It was impossible for anyone to see me because the bushes were completely covering me. In front of me was a very large flat boulder. After several minutes of thinking about this scenario in the Bible, I thought I would try it. At that moment, I thought it was a ridiculous thought… a ridiculous attempt at getting a physical and tangible answer. Not too far from where I was sitting, there were several very heavy rocks. I picked up one rock and held it in both my hands. It was incredibly heavy, and it was larger than both my hands put together. I then put this rock on top of the flat boulder. It was secure. There was no possible way of it falling off. I had overthought every possible scenario for this rock moving, for any reason whatsoever. I needed to make sure. I did not want to get an accidental answer… if I actually received an answer. I thought that I already knew what was going to happen… I already thought that this attempt was completely ridiculous altogether. I recalled the Scripture again. This event in the Bible had taken place overnight, so that meant that I would then only get an answer the next day… if I were to follow the Scripture as accurately and as literally as possible. So, I said to God, “If I come back tomorrow and this rock is still on top of this boulder, then that means I must not go and meet Cecilia Steyn. But if this rock is removed completely off this boulder, then that means I must go and see Cecilia.” This rock had to have been completely removed off of the flat boulder, not just moved… and for it to have been moved, was an impossibility on its own. To have been removed completely, off the flat boulder, was undoubtedly impossible. After over analyzing the rock and the flat boulder one more time… and overthinking the situation and scenario yet again… I then got up and walked home.
The next day I decided to walk back to the pond. I was honestly and genuinely completely convinced that in the middle of all those bushes, in the furthest and remotest pond, where nobody ever goes, I would find this same rock on top of the same flat boulder. There had not been any wind in days, although wind would not have even been able to even move the rock in the slightest because it was too heavy. There had been no rain as well. The people in the estate were scarcely seen. There were not even ducks or any birds where that pond was. As I got to the pond… my jaw dropped. There was no rock on top of the flat boulder. In disbelief, I searched the ground, the grass, and the bushes around it. I even looked in the pond water, even though the flat boulder was not close enough to the pond for the rock to have fallen in it. But there was no rock anywhere. I searched continuously because I was in complete disbelief. This was completely impossible. I was dumbstruck. I stood there, staring at the flat boulder… completely dumbstruck. My mind refused to believe what my eyes were seeing. I did not know what to think. Eventually, I sat down, still very much in disbelief… going over every possibility of the rock having been removed. I must have sat for at least an hour overthinking this scenario… it was impossible… completely impossible. Eventually, I just nodded my head, while still in disbelief, and I said, “Okay, I will go see Cecilia.”
This is a scenario that still completely baffles me, even all these years later. Did God really want me to go see Cecilia? Did He really choose for me to be part of this ordeal? Was I honestly a part of God’s plan to end all of this?
In looking back, and in taking into consideration what several people have said to me, “Perhaps God wanted you to meet Cecilia Steyn because He knew that you would be brave enough to stand up and put a stop to it all in the end.”
19“If you are willing…”
~ Isaiah 1:19 (NKJV)
I have never considered myself brave or strong. All that I am, is willing. That is all that I ever needed to be. Willing to learn… willing to try… willing to do whatever God wanted me to do. Just willing. I was willing to try being brave enough, willing to try be strong enough, willing to speak the truth for justice, willing to stop everything that Cecilia was doing so that no one else would be harmed. If all I needed to be was willing, so that God to use me as part of His plan to end all of this devastation, then just that is enough for me.
Why I Ultimately Met Cecilia Steyn