LET’S TALK

Dear Daughter…

Dear Daughter… Born of me or not, Know that I see you as mine. Dear Daughter… Even though we have not met, Know that I am excitedly counting the seconds until then. Dear Daughter… Know that you are not a mistake nor a burden, You are a choice, A priceless gift, And a privilege more…

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I Am Not A Hero. I Am Willing…

Since being involved in the Krugersdorp Killer’s case, I have received countless overwhelming responses from so many people across the globe. I have honestly lost count of how many messages I have received. Person after person sent incredibly supportive messages. They were overwhelming but these messages have helped spur me on so many times… especially…

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“Is The World Ready?”

Over the last who knows how many days right now, I have scanned through the seemingly endless topics that I need to write about regarding the Krugersdorp Killers, or more specifically, Cecilia Steyn…. from the beginning all the way up until recent publicized events. I desperately wish I could just plug a USB chord into…

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Let’s Be Vulnerable… From My Heart To Yours…

For seemingly endless months, if not years, this question has hounded my mind, “What is the purpose for my life?” … Basically, “Why on earth did I go through so much in my life? Why? What did I do wrong to deserve all of this… I was just a child… and growing up, all I…

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Time. Perfectly Irrelevant.

As most mornings go around 3am, I wake up with my mind on overdrive… sorting puzzle pieces and trying to make some kind of sense on some random topic or other. I think consciously, I have way too much on my mind; usually, a chaotic whirlwind of thoughts regarding work, life and everything in between,…

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Rock Bottom

A month and 1 day ago, my grandmother passed away. I will never forget the moment I found out. I cried so hard. I hit the walls saying, “It isn’t true!!!”… and cried more. The tears did not stop. One of 3 most loved, most teasured, most irreplaceable people in my life… was now gone.…

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Earth’s Greatest Treasure. Heaven’s Most Beautiful Angel.

How do you describe a pain, when there are no words for it? How do you describe a loss, when your mind still wages war trying to make you believe it’s not true? How do you describe the most incredible grandmother that ever existed? You can’t, because the dictionary simply doesn’t have words that are…

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This Is FAR HARDER Than I Let People Realize

Record. Pause. Heart Racing. Tears welling up. Lump in my throat. Record. Pause. Sobbing my eyes out. Delete… Try again… Talking about all of these things regarding Cecilia Steyn is far harder for me than I let people realize. I could not put it into typed out words, but I thought I would try talk…

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Never Be Ashamed Of A Scar

NEVER BE ASHAMED OF A SCAR. IT SIMPLY MEANS THAT YOU WERE STRONGER THAN WHAT TRIED TO HURT YOU. Yes, this is a photograph of my arm. I’m not oblivious to the looks I get when people see it. Akward stares; thoughts racing through their minds. At first, I felt so ashamed. I knew what…

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The Krugersdorp Killers. Reality Check.

This story about the Krugersdorp Killers seems to be a never ending part of my life. I was part of this story for 4 years. Escaped and helped investigators for the next 9 or so years… over an entire decade, seemingly “dedicated” to things revolving around Cecilia Steyn. When the case was closed and the…

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Near Year. Reboot.

It’s finally 2021. New Year. Time for a reboot. 2020 brought many tremendous challenges for everyone. Most people are doubting and fearful of what 2021 will bring after what last year encompassed. For me, yes, 2020 had incredible challenges BUT it was actually and, in all honesty, the best year of my life so far.…

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God & The Bizarre

So early hours of the morning… as it usually happens… inspiration hit. I have to write ANOTHER book, while I am still busy with one (The Best Friend). I even woke up with the Book Title: “God & The Bizzare“. Yes, odd title… but VERY fitting. It’s been told to me repeatedly for years now,…

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My Phone Call From God

Wow. Let me start by saying that God hears EVERY word… EVEN when you don’t say anything at all… For the last several days, adding to the months prior, I have been bombarded with thoughts… confusion… questions… wondering… hoping… insights… and more. My mind has been flooded with TOO much… about TOO much. My mind…

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Picking Up The Pieces

Admittedly, I am still very numb from the incredible knock and shattered hope I received just two days ago. I am both at war with pain and peace… broken dreams and hope… and things I don’t have words for. But now, now I have to force myself to get up, dust myself off and carry…

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Shattered In The Moonlight

I don’t even know where to begin, except to say that I am utterly broken… and confused… so confused. I can’t hide behind a wall right now… I can’t distance myself from the emotions… this is very real. I am shattered beyond belief. For several months now, I had hung onto hope… I even DARED…

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Voices In Hiding

I am utterly speechless… no words! Goosebumps! Floored! Wow! Over the last number of weeks, being flooded with people reaching out to me because of my book Leviathan Walks AND The Best Friend, I had never expected this to happen… I have been receiving message after message from those who used to be part of…

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Brokenness

Last night I was broken beyond belief… beyond words… beyond any actions that could be done to fix it… helpless… lost… Last night I watched one of the strongest people I have ever known become completely and utterly broken. What I walked into, I don’t think anything could have ever prepared for me for. I…

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Pandora’s Box

I know I had recently said that it feels like I have opened Pandora’s Box when I started the audio recordings for The Best Friend… but I am starting to realize, only now, how true this is. Everything is connected. Dot to dot, the mindmap leads to so much more than I realized. Too much……

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Who Am I?

I am so thankful to those people who sent so many messages, telling me that they can wholeheartedly relate to what I had written in my Book, Misunderstood. Even though I aim to let others know that they are not alone, the feedback received also, in turn, made me feel like I am also not…

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